The Marriage Files – Episode 6
by Jay Bowen
“A basic characteristic in a thriving marriage is work.”
Marriages are always under construction. We are always working to love more, give more, understand more, and grace our spouse with the best we have to offer. Most couples spend a lifetime working out their differences. A lot of young couples haven’t had the necessary conversations to understand the challenges they are facing. You know… who is assigned to clean the toilets, iron the clothes, vacuum, etc? Where are you spending Thanksgiving and Christmas this year? How much goes into the savings account each month and what is the budget for shoes? Redskins or the Cowboys? There are just too many things to iron out to expect that you will have the first ever no problems—fault free—dream marriage.
Reality check: we talk, we work out an issue, we mess up, we forgive, we agree to compromise, we kiss, we revisit the same issue some more, and we finally resolve it just to move on to the next issue. Rinse and repeat. Marriage just takes work! We do not easily surrender our desires, likes and dislikes for the sake of our spouse. However, resolving differences does not require an MMA cage fight either. Planning is the key. Most couples just smile when Karen and I talk to them about the equitable distribution of work in the house. We have them list all of the household chores, choose the ones they each want to do, shuffle the cards and randomly distribute the remaining tasks. That’s planning!
What are you working on? Sit down and work on a plan of attack… together. In time, you can take these challenges, turn them into strengths, and find joy in working together.
April 10, 2017
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March 23, 2017