The Marriage Files – Episode 7
by Jay Bowen
“Everyday Marriage” Part 1
I’ve officiated a boatload of weddings in recent years and enjoyed every minute of them. From my unique perspective, I get to see the great expressions of love, joy, wonder and exhaustion. I’ve heard laughter and crying and seen big crocodile tears roll down the cheeks of quite a few brides, grooms and parents. I love the experience of sending the couple off to their honeymoon and then seeing their pics on Facebook two days later. Then they come home and settle into the joys of everyday marriage. Almost every long-married couple I know has established wonderful habits that enhance their marriage everyday. See if any or all of the following habits can work for you:
#1—EVERYDAY YOU SHOULD WAKE UP TO A KISS. Kiss. kiss, kiss! (If it leads to more, then you can thank me later!) A passionate kiss reflects the deepest emotions of our heart and sends the message that, “You are mine”.
#2—EVERYDAY YOU NEED TO HUG AT LEAST 10 TIMES. Hugging can mean so many things. Some people refer to hugging as security in action. Hugging is often the remedy for a difficult day and can be a mirror into the soul of your loved one.
#3—EVERYDAY SAY, “I LOVE YOU”. This beautiful declaration provides a great source of security – it says you are the most important person in my life and I am yours forever. The love we need in our marriage comes from the Greek word, Agape. Agape is a selfless, unconditional love. You see, you entered a covenant relationship that is “until death do us part”. In the context of covenant relationship, Agape love means dying to self, independent living, and your personal likes and dislikes, and focusing on each other and what is best for both. Your shared life is the priority. Life is now shared, wealth is shared, a home is shared, strengths are pooled and you are called to act as one. Agape love is a powerful, life-altering verb.
#4—EVERYDAY TALK AND LISTEN TO EACH OTHER. James 1:19 says, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry”. Find a quiet place each day for intimate conversation. It is the only true way to know each other’s heart.
#5—Everyday give 100%. Marriage is never 50/50 – 50% me giving and 50% me taking. It is always 100 / 100. Philippians 2:3-4 says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should not only look to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Your personal goal is to out serve your spouse. Don’t worry about what you will get in return. The Bible says that if we give then it will be given unto us.
Good habits make for a great marriage!
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