Ode to the Salad Bar

When you hear the word “bar,”

what’s the first thing you think?

Is it a bunch of sad mopes

overpaying for drinks?

Well, color me greedy,

but what comes to my mind

is a selection of goodies

in a glorious line.

A kaleidoscope of colors,

the brightest of all being green

(and if you’re envisioning Appletinis,
brothers and sisters in Christ,

that’s still not the kind of bar I mean!)

I’m talking about a SALAD bar

with all the fixings so fine

(and if my Yankee family heard me say
that word,

they’d snatch me right back across that
Mason-Dixon line!)

But can’t you just see it?

Lettuce, tomatoes, and cheese…
Oh, my!

Olives, carrots, and mushrooms,

and enough onions to make Paul
Bunyan cry!

I know patience is a virtue,

but if you don’t make up your mind,

I’m going to push right past you, dear
Deacon,

because those croutons are mine!

And don’t get me started on the
dressing!

Mixing French and Italian is so fun!

Don’t judge me, Pastor Steve,

I know I ain’t the only one!

This is my ode

to the only type of bar allowed in church.

I hope you enjoy the fine selection of salad

As much as you do my literary work!